Manners, Etiquette, and the Rituals of High Society

In countries such as England and Scotland, the traditions of “high society” were defined by rigid codes of manners and etiquette. Among the upper classes, refinement was not simply encouraged, it was expected. Children of privilege were raised to master the finest table manners, adopt a polished style of dress, and speak in a manner considered both articulate and dignified. Slang was deemed vulgar, a marker of the uneducated classes, and therefore carefully avoided in social circles where breeding and sophistication were the hallmarks of respectability.

Dinner parties, often the pinnacle of social gatherings, were orchestrated with the utmost care. Hosts and hostesses prided themselves on flawless table settings and the seamless flow of an evening. To decline food was considered a grave insult to one’s host, while dominating a conversation or, worse still, speaking with one’s mouth full, was regarded as shockingly ill-mannered. These occasions were more than opportunities for dining—they were subtle exercises in reinforcing social hierarchy and showcasing one’s place within it.

The rigid structures of society extended into gender expectations. Men were often judged by their manners, wit, and prospects, while single women were observed as potential wives, though the prospect of marriage could be daunting. Women, meanwhile, were expected to avoid political debates—such topics were generally reserved for men—and instead embody the qualities of femininity and refinement that might increase their chances of securing a suitable match.

Appearance was equally important. Hairstyles for women were carefully curated: those with naturally long hair would have it artfully curled and arranged, while others relied on pads or “rats” to add volume and shape. Cosmetics were subtle and conservative. A hint of rouge on the cheeks or a touch of lipstick was permissible, but anything excessive risked association with prostitution—a stigma that could permanently damage a woman’s reputation. Nail care, too, was in its infancy. Far from the glossy polishes of today, nails were treated with tinted creams, powders, and red oils that were buffed into the nail plate to create a polished look.

In retrospect, the efforts of these women and men reveal both the strictures and the artistry of their times. They worked with limited means yet strived for elegance, laying the foundations for many of today’s beauty practices. As one director of an exclusive cosmetic company once observed: “The beauty industry, in contrast to many others, will never remain static.” Indeed, from the drawing rooms of Victorian Britain to the global markets of today, standards of beauty and etiquette continue to evolve—always reflecting, and often shaping, the society around them.